compromise

Until now ReyMey gets the urge to line-up his toys--(sometimes to battle he says but sometimes I think he just likes them that way, lined up.)

We have a lot of figurines, all sorts! From Mcdonalds happy meal toys to Disney characters to cartoon and movie characters you name it we probably have it. He still plays with the Narnia, Lion Witch and Wardrobe figs. He still idolizes Spongebob Squarepants and Mr Bean

We mostly have a lot because this is one of the ways I cheat & 'compromise'. ReyMey likes the idea of collecting and making the set complete so I use that desire to leverage whatever from Behavior correction to sleeping early to packing away toys and discarded clothes; reduce ice cream, cheese, pasta & bread consumption--- so we have quite a collection.




Let's see "meltdowns" that's the word most commonly used to explain highly erratic behavior of children . Like screaming their heads off just to get something when it's not allowed or sensory & input overloads, getting an answer wrong and being a sore loser (some other child wins) -- or just plain being a "dead weight " and laying on the ground or floor or wherever they are on that instant.

I have had my fair share of those incidents-- until now that he's 10 I still get meltdowns occasionally but now he would say "I'm sorry mum! I'm sorry! SMILE??" whereas before he would scream and I mean SCREAM his lungs out and writhe and cry.

Where do I begin, supermarkets? movie house? in the mall? school? the barber shop? the pediatrician? the roads?

I try and prevent meltdowns by looking ahead and if it's happening how do we cut it short without jeopardizing results of endless therapy.

Ok if this supermarket doesn't work out. Try a different one. Buy whatever he puts in the cart, make him tick off the check list, bother the cashier and let him scan some of the items, make him the bagger--

If he runs out of this moviehouse screaming -- next time try a lighter child friendlier movie, no digital surround sound/IMAX and watch off-peak hours-- less people-- and never run out of popcorn.

If He screams in a barber shop because of the razor--ok next time just use scissors and make it a short trip or try that shop that had kidde cars as chairs if it still doesn't work-- do mockups at home and let him do your hair too (trim a little, pretend razor with the tickling effect -- only if you're sure you are going to the parlour anyway for a trim later :-) hehehe) .

If Trips to the mall getting overwhelming? time to stop for snacks. or do the snack first and then do the errands needed.

To stop night peeing in bed -- count stars and for every 10 or 15 days straight no peeing he gets a special treat--extra TV hours, or a new book, spaghetti for dinner , computer time, sleepover at grandma's house.

I confess I resort to the oldest trick in the book, bribery. It gets worse, I then justify it as "compromise". Mea culpa, My Bad. But it really all boils down to him getting used to everyday usual activities and giving him a chance to experience a lot of it and get used to it and find enjoyment and fulfillment (well done!) in the said activity.

Like using just a small dollop of shampoo instead of using the whole bottle to wash hair everyday. Or closing the taps while brushing his teeth, brushing teeth properly for that matter or learning how to use toilet paper even if at first he uses most of the roll and still end up not cleaning his buttocks properly and clogs the bowl or remembering to flush the toilet and wash hands after. Like Learning to bake cookies and donuts or making a chocolate marshmallow candy or making origami stuff.

This "compromise" thingie, it worked for us.
====

I never had a "leash" for young kids it was never sold here in the Philippines during that time. My sister-in-law bought one in the US to use on her kids 2 years ago but she never used it for long because she got either laughed at, scoffed or told off by lots of strangers-- not a pleasant experience. And ReyMey, he never had that "rubber band" instinct When he walks away from you he just walks on and on and on (like the energizer bunny) -- he leads we follow. He doesn't look back and if we don't follow he'll get lost. Hubby & I used to time how long it will take him to notice where we are and panic but he never did missed us and we run out of time following him.

Our government never issues handicap cards so we can park in the disabled parking slots-- you can only park there if you have a wheelchair (a must have accessory :-)) So yes we get incidents like hitting and denting the door of the car beside ours because he opens fast & hard -- or getting almost run over in parking lots because he dashes away as soon as he gets down -- or he would come out of the car and promptly squat & lie on the ground because he does not want to move.

ReyMey only has one awareness T-shirt "Dream, Believe, Survive" but it was a thank you gift giveaway given by the Autism Society of the Philippines last year because he participated in the Dinner /Talent show by playing 2 piano pieces during the Autism Awareness Week. Prints on t-shirt here on my side of the world is not relevant. Not a lot of people read prints on shirt you are wearing-- it's rude.

So his self-image it's just as it should be- he believes and has confidence in himself.